4 Facts About Crocheting: Number 3 Will Shock You!

      Some people would say that variegated yarn, despite its visual interest, should be used sparingly and carefully.

      I am not one of those people.

      When I use variegated yarn, I use it on EVERYTHING. Making some plain vanilla socks? BOOM. Throw some stripes at it. Making some super detailed socks that should probably be crafted in a single and very particular color so as to avoid excessive eyeball stimulation? BOOM. Slap some stripes on it.

      It's for this reason that my latest finished project, another pattern from the Joy of Sox book, is... A lot to look at. In person, it's just interesting to look at. In this photograph, it's like trying to wash an argumentative octopus in a bathtub with your dog; it's impossible to focus on, and you might just lose an eye if you stare for too long.

      Nevertheless, this project was a joy to make, and the pattern was easy to memorize.

      My next foray into variegation led me to what I can only term as a masterpiece of art. It's the ultimate beauty, surpassing even Michelangelo's David and Beautiful Squidward in its perfection.

      It's beyond comparison to anything I, a mere mortal, can conceptualize or articulate. It's a striped, two-headed monkey.

      You may be thinking, "Why on Earth would anyone in their right mind decide that making a two-headed monkey is a good allocation of free time?" And that's an excellent question.

      As it's made with sock yarn, I won't be able to use my cute little safety eyes to complete it. I may end up using buttons, but that always has the possibility of shaping my creations into nightmare creatures that bask in the glow of hellfire. I mean, they're still cute, but they aren't exactly something I'd want staring at me through the darkness at three in the morning.

      Now that I've concluded my descriptions of the projects that have given me no grief, allow me a brief moment to collect myself in preparation for this next one. I'll begin with some undeniable facts.

Fact #1: Acrylic yarn is bad.

Fact #2: Cheap yarn is bad.

Fact #3: I bought a combination of the above.

Fact #4: I feel absolutely victimized by the atrocity that is this color scheme. 

      This project is something that I started as a sort of "test run", if you will. I was asked to create a one-size-fits-all vest with the back being a bandanna, and the front constructed out of yarn.  I'm going to have to experiment a good deal with this, so I went to Goodwill and grabbed the cheapest and crappiest yarn I could unwittingly destroy without guilt. Or wittingly destroy without guilt. Fire is an option.

      I'm a bit concerned that the vest won't sit well, given that fabric made with yarn is considerably more dense and heavy than that made with thread. It's possible that I could arrange for the bulk of the weight to be distributed around the shoulders, but one small mistake with that method could bring back the shoulder pad look from the eighties, and I don't think the world is ready for that level of high fashion.  

Oh Hot Reservoir, This Is My Jelly

-and other things that I should never type or say again.

It has struck me that, at this moment, I have exactly twelve hours until my first class of the fall semester. It has also struck me that I've read at least seven books in the last fortnight, and that's a bit excessive. It continues to strike me every day that, if I continue to use the word "struck" in every single sentence, someone is going to lose it, and it's probably going to be me.

Speaking of things that have struck (whoops, there that word is again), Hurricane Harvey has been... rainy and wet and like nature, so I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with this topic. I've enjoyed a lot of time wandering around in the rain and wading in the running creek. True, there could be something lurking down in the depths of the murky water, but you'll never know until you lose a limb, and I'm all about new discoveries.

I spent a significant amount of time stepping gingerly into the water, despite my knee-high boots, just trying to gauge its depth. After skirting the foggier parts of the water and taking pictures of the lush, green undergrowth, I had a moment of reckless abandon, and decided that it would be a marvelous idea to just walk blindly across it.

I. Messed. Up.

Have you ever been wearing an awesome pair of socks, and thought, These socks are great, I'm just going to walk innocently through the kitchen, only to step on the single wet spot in the entire house? Do you remember the betrayal you felt as you realized your sock was no longer performing its sole duty of warming your cold little tootsies, and was suddenly freakishly frigid and damp?

Imagine that horrible instant, and then multiply it by a thousand, because, in my ill-devised plan, the bottom of my sock wasn't the extent of the disaster. Water poured in from all sides around the top of my boot, and cascaded in rivulets down my right calf, forming an almost-delicate pool around my socked foot. Horror filled my soul as I realized what had happened. My beloved sock, indeed, my entire right leg, was... WET. With water. Blech.

Was I ever in mortal peril? No. Was I in danger? No. Had I been hurt, even a little bit? Only in my tender heart.

You can stop looking disappointed any time now.

After squelching back to the double-wide, and struggling to open the door due to a swollen wooden door frame, I finally got the boot off. And immediately proceeded to work on my hat pattern. It's not much farther than last time I mentioned it, but progress has been made, and I've memorized the repeats.

Besides working on my *ahem* if I do say so myself *ahem* lovely hat pattern, I've reupholstered a few chairs. While hacking up the old and disgusting suede coverings, it's been brought to my attention that, if you don't clean up after your cat, or clean at all, for more than a decade, your stuff is probably going to smell like death. And possibly like ammonia. And maybe like felted hair from a sweaty cat anus. 

But what are the odds that someone's going to neglect housework for that long, right?

Vaguely related to the upholstery (such a subtle segue!), is the subject of my loss.

Not of my dignity (good luck finding that), but of a secure handle on my yarn swift. Before you cry with despair, just know that I can fix it (CAN WE DO IT? YES, WE- I'll stop now)! I just have to find some glue that works with metals, as hot glue is all I have at present, and I can't see it being a particularly successful binder.

Drowning in Yarn and Covered with Cat Hair

... Basically, a summary of my life.

In the feverish grips of elation, and finally free from the constraints of academia, I began on a harrowing quest to complete the ultimate amount of garments possible within a fortnight.

Now that I am nearly halfway through my glorious two weeks of liberty, I have been delivered a stunning revelation. 

This was a terrible idea. Help.

It's not all bad, and it began innocently enough. One moment, I was washing an owl cardigan in the bathtub in preparation for blocking, and generally enjoying life. The next, it was 2 in the morning, and I was sitting on my bedroom floor with pins in my mouth and despair in my eyes, staring in horror at the sweater that wouldn't block exactly to size. *knitterly scream*

This is why you double-check gauge. Learn from my mistakes, children.

Mmm. Look at those owls. Hawt.

This is technically not a new finished project, but, rather, an addition to a previous one. Nearly a year ago, I knitted myself an open cardigan. Now, you might that it's not a huge deal that the sweater lacked buttons or a zipper. And you would be thinking wrong, because creating a zipper-less sweater is the most freaking annoying thing that I have ever done to date. Hands down. 

The sides of the sweater would flap around as I walked, like the wings of an angel. If the angel had fallen from heaven, gotten drunk, drenched itself in tar, and decided to dance the macarena while walking down the street, that is.

The more my little angel wings flapped madly around me, the more I began to hate the sweater until, finally, I bought a zipper, and vowed to end the insane flippity-flap-flapping. In an afternoon, the wee flappers were contained, and I could silently stalk- 

Whoa, wrong word. Walk. I can walk. Silently. 

I picked gold for the zipper purely to represent my heart of gold, and not because that was the first zipper that I looked at. *suspicious cough*

I know that I'm already working on a hat design and all that, but I couldn't help but knit this Hermione hat after I saw that I had a yarn that was perfect for it. I actually finished an awesome audiobook (called We Are Legion (We Are Bob), for those of you who'd like to know) because of the amount of time I spent sittin' and knittin' on this hat.

Those cables! So stunning! Those bobbles! So bobble-ish!

Slip a Stitch, Karma's a B-

-ig and influential factor in all of our lives. That's definitely what I meant. Gosh, get your mind out of the gutter.

I can feel Autumn approaching. I can feel it. I realize that it's possible I could be hallucinating from the extreme Texas heat, but I'm going to take the positive route and believe that nature is changing in my favor. When I'm in class and decidedly avoiding any additional participation than what is necessary, I daydream about falling leaves... And then I snap back to reality and notice that in my imaginings I've been staring at a classmate's dandruff slowly drifting down to the floor. Ew.

It seems like I haven't been working on much, but, upon reflection, I have actually made quite a few things (I am a marvelous thing factory. I do things, I create things, I destroy all things that get in my way, etc). Besides making copious amounts of coffee, and drinking it with almost an almost indecent regularity, I've been sewing, knitting, and generally avoiding the pathway of my fellow classmate's dandruff gently wafting through the air conditioned breeze.

But enough about dandruff and coffee, we're here to talk about things.

The first thing I made was a creepy (or cute, if you're into the devil) bunny with mismatched button eyes made out of green fabric with black polka dots. I don't have a photo, but, trust me, it was literally a cuddly Satan.

My next projects (please note that, although this is a perfect blog, completely free of inaccuracies, I may or may not be recalling the projects in the proper order of production) were two dresses for my sisters Victoria and Hannah. A while back, I was given some bags full of random fabric pieces, and I managed to create both dresses completely out of those fragments! Being a remarkably professional photographer, I can tell you that I most definitely did not rush around after my morning study session to find these items and make them look as if they hadn't been squished in a closet. I also didn't take one single picture of each and declare it "good enough". That's just not how we do it here on ATBOTBS (what an acronym).

During one of my many weekly adventures down at our house in Dripping Springs, I discovered a skein of Lion Brand Fettucini that had just been ignored and shoved into the school closet's craft box. Made  out of 100% undetermined materials, I had to use it to make a project that looks like its maker was 100% unsure of what to create. Thus, in an afternoon, the Banana Basket was born. 

I'm also working on a pair of beautifully detailed Coffee Cantata socks, but I apparently lost the entire project somewhere. I have no idea how that happened, or where the heck it is, but some field mouse is probably overjoyed at the prospect of a cabled, socky, dinner. Mouse: 1. Katherine: 0.

Because the sock has proven elusive to me, I've started creating a pattern. That's right, I'm getting creative again (*Don't Hug Me, I'm Scared plays ominously in the background*)! It's in the early stages of fabulousness, but it's getting there, and I'm excited to see where it goes.

I'm Not Dead, Just Tired

I finished my spring classes! YES! I'm super happy to be enjoying a small break before the summer session, even if I have been kinda sick the entire time (*cough* thanks, Mom *cough*).

I'm relieved to be finished with my biology class, because my professor wasn't particularly nice. At all. Currently, all unfriendly and unpleasant professors I've had have been women, which is a disheartening trend to observe. I'm hopeful that my experiences have been based on chance and aren't an accurate representation of my future time in the workplace.

I've essentially finished the Ginny Cardigan, lacking only buttons, pockets, and seams, but I haven't felt any inclination to do anything with it, so it's been set aside for a bit. I occasionally look at it and think, "Oh, I should work on that," but then I go and make scones with coffee or something.
Speaking of coffee, I have gotten into this terrible habit of making a cup, taking one glorious sip, and then leaving it on the table for five hours while I work on other things. WHY DO I DO THIS?!? I like coffee.

Oh, crap. I just realized I'm continuing the habit right now as I type, because my coffee is still on the other side of the room. One second, I'm going to go get it.

Okay, everything's good now. Crisis averted!

Remember that gorgeous lace crocheted shawl that I started working on back when I was a fetus? No?? Oh. Well, I COMPLETED IT! I'm actually very happy that I made it, because I was using an ivory hook from Grandmother, and I wanted it to continue being used to create things, rather than being locked away in a box somewhere.

My, my, look at that lovely toe. Foot fetish people, this is for you.

I made a sort-of impulse buy (sort-of, in that it was only vaguely premeditated) on Friday, and I got a blanket's worth of Bernat Blanket Yarn (blanket pattern here). It's not for me, and I have to finish it before my first summer class begins on the 30th, so I'm not sure why I thought making it was such a brilliant idea!
Thankfully, I'm good at meeting deadlines, and if I somehow don't, I can always use a later date, although it wouldn't be as smashingly impressive.

I also joined the Pokemon Go crowd this week and made a character. I'm pretty pleased, and I can see why the game became such a widespread success!

Cinco De Mayo??

Hello again, you lovely people.

It's been nearly 5 months since my last post. First of all, how did that happen?? Second, it's finals week and... Yeah, that's how.

I did vend another booth, and this time I shared the space with Dewberry Creek Farms. I've also been keeping up with my knitting; very slowly, but I'm still making progress. 

One of my professors banned my knitting in her class after approving it on the previous class day, which was unfortunate, yet somehow I've managed to knit an entire cardigan! Well... Almost. I've still got to add pockets and sew the underarms and block it and-

Like I said, it's basically done!

I love the curious looks that I get whenever I take out my knitting or crocheting in a public place. It's so fun, because it gives me an excuse to get something done while I'm also being marked 'present' and possibly introducing the idea that maybe knitting isn't just for old ladies. The conversations that have begun in my classes just because I've gotten out my needles have been wonderful to observe, and my psychology professor even used my craft as an example in his lecture.

Maybe this weekend, as I pretend to study, I'll be able to finish the cardigan and start on something new.

I've been thinking of picking up sewing again; I even bought a few (read: way too many) patterns to practice on.

HAPPY BELATED NEW YEAR

Hello, again, all of you lovely people! I'm writing this post quickly before I finish packing for my family trip to Belize. 

The end of 2016 was a very hectic period for me, and it consisted of  Christmas parties, Christmas itself, and birthdays galore. The New Year has been just the same with a New Year's Eve party (I sound like I'm a party animal, don't I? Well, I can assure you that I'm definitely not; I love sleep too much), my parent's wedding anniversary, and, yesterday, my 18th birthday.

I haven't been working on that many projects since my classes ended because I was feeling rather burnt-out, and my hands were aching from the constant repetitive motions. Still, despite being weary of creating things, I managed to knit my friend a Christmas hat- of which I don't have a picture, oddly enough.

On my birthday, I started making a bright pink doily for the same friend's birthday  present. It's from a free vintage pattern, and I'm excited to see how it turns out.

Sometime before Christmas, I started a Ginny Cardigan for myself, on which I have knitted about 3 1/2 inches. I really like the yarn that I chose for it, a Knit Picks' Tweed DK. It's soft, and I think that it'll be comfortable to wear.

Now that I'm nearly packed and ready for the trip tomorrow, I just hope that my hook and needles won't be confiscated as I board the boat to Central America. XD

Seriously, though.

Knitting, Crocheting, and Cleaning. OH MY!

These past few weeks have been busy, y'all.
I haven't gotten as much crafting done as I would've liked, but I DO have two finished projects (and also a very clean bathroom- more on that later)!
I made the Tilson socks from my Yarnbox subscription. I've never made an afterthought heel before, and I'll admit that it is pretty frightening to cut my knitting. It feels WRONG, but I did it, and it's cute, so everything is alright.

I also crocheted an Amigurumi Elephant, and gave it some bright yellow eyes.

Now... If you are a bit of a clean freak (*raises hand and looks around*), these next few photos are probably going to bother you. My parents bought a farm on thirty acres 11 days ago, and the people who used to live there were hoarders who neglected absolutely everything. Because of that, my parents got a great deal on the property, but have an enormous mess to clean up. 

This is what the master bedroom looked like the day after they moved out. 

Fun Fact: there is an armadillo tail in the cream laundry basket [see picture below], and a rubber dragon in the master closet.

In the doorway to the left (where my mom is standing), there is a sitting area that is also filled with junk. The years of neglect show very plainly there, as you can see from the huge dirt spots on the walls and the cat litter sprinkled across the floor [picture below].

The sitting room next to the master bedroom has dirt spots all over the walls, although the one captured here is the most prominent.

If you thought those rooms looked awful, the bathrooms are worse. This is the floor of the master bathroom *hyperventilates*. I'm not even going to talk about the shower.

Yesterday, I spent about four hours cleaning one tub, one sink, and one toilet in the cleanest bathroom. Not floors, not walls, just those three things. I used strong and undiluted chemicals over every inch and then cleaned them each about three times over. Here's a nice comparison of what the outside of the tub looked like before and after I wiped it once. AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

If you're not grossed out yet, here's a picture of the dining room in all its glory. 

Those are some majorly impressive cobwebs, aren't they?

 Moral of this post: Clean your house. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS PURE AND HOLY, PLEASE CLEAN YOUR HOUSE.

There Are No UFOs

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: if needlecrafts were a form of cardio, I would be the most fit person alive... BECAUSE I HAVE GOT FOUR FINISHED PROJECTS!!!

I made another Winter Mouse, which is very snuggly and sweet-looking in his DK weight scarf.

Then, I made a baby dragon. This li'l dude had a billion different parts to sew together, but it was completely worth it.

And now my brother Caleb has some socks! The pattern was easy to memorize, which made them practically fly off of the needles.

Last, but not least, I finished a toddler sweater! In just four days! You may have noticed the tiny little sheep buttons on the button band. I got them from The Sated Sheep, my local yarn store, and I LOVE them. I really can't wait for it to be officially fall, because I want to see this worn!

Little Bunny in the Woods

My summer class ended this month, so during the last couple of weeks, I have been doing an insane amount of crafting!

I've also been trying to get on a regular sleeping schedule, because going to bed at around 11 and then waking up at 5:30 or 6 isn't working well for me. 'Trying' as in 'we'll see how this pans out'.😂

Because I have so many projects to show off, I'm going to make several small-ish posts rather than one GIGANTIC one.

And now we move on to the project that I began and ~completed~ first.

I finished a bunny, guys! The pictures can't capture the squishiness and cuddliness of this li'l dude!

My little siblings have already told me that they all want one, too!

You can find the pattern for free at: Henry's Rabbit pattern by Sara Elizabeth Kellner

Sock Sweater Survives Sweltering Summer

I'm DONE *maniacal laughter*! 

It took me six months and a good deal of my attention (I can't say ALL of my attention, because I'm hardly a monogamous crafter), but I am finally done. I am so happy with the finished project! The hoodie is awesome, and it all fits so perfectly!

Part of me never wants to make another fingering weight top (it just takes so long to complete!), but another part of me loves the drape and feel of the thinner fabric. Only time will tell which part will win!

 One thing I hadn't expected as a result of knitting this sweater is that it has made me excited for fall to get here. I can't wait!

If you'd like to make a sweater similar to mine, I made the smallest size of the Brooklyn Bridge Cardigan by Melissa Wehrle from the book Metropolitan Knits using Hawthorne Fingering Kettle Dye Yarn in the Blackbird colorway.

Minnesota Mishaps

     Does anyone else initially read the word mishaps as mi-shaps? I dunno. That's what I read when I first look at it. 

     Anyway, I have been super busy for the past month or so (could I wish for anything else? :P). On June 10th, my sister Mary's birthday, Emily (pictured below) and I went to a Panic! at the Disco concert! Brendon Urie was absolutely astounding live; his voice is positively angelic. I could say more (especially about his cover of Bohemian Rhapsody!), but I'm moving on before my inner fangirl gets out of control.

I finished a bulky seed stitch hat with some yarn that I got from The Sated Sheep, and it is delightfully soft and fuzzy!

     The Tuesday after the concert, I took a chemistry test and got an "A" (thank goodness, because I felt ill-prepared). On June 30th, I took another chemistry test (this one I felt more prepared for, and got another "A", for those of you who wish to know.), and finished packing some clothes and all of my essentials (read: works in progress). Early the next morning, all 13 of us piled into the Party Van and headed toward our first stop: Oklahoma. On the way there, we stopped at the Wichita Mountains and stared at some relaxed buffalo and super fat prairie dogs. 

     Saturday, July 2nd, brought us to the National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum, where we  posed on the toy saddles like the happy people we are (from the left: Emily, me, and Zachary).

     I also got put in jail for the first and final time in my life, which was pretty cool.

Me trying to look like a seasoned criminal, but looking kind of sunburned instead.

     Then, on July 3rd and 4th we went to two different Laura Ingalls homesites: one in Kansas and the other one in Minnesota. These next two pictures are from the Independence, Kansas, homesite.

A replica of what the Ingall's house would have looked like.

Emily, half of Victoria's face, Caleb's back, and Hannah's arm at the post office. :' D

     After driving through Nebraska and Iowa, which involved A LOT of staring at corn, we finally arrived at Plum Creek!

From left: Zachary, Emily, and Caleb standing on the rock that might be the "table rock" in On the Banks of Plum Creek.

     If you're still reading this, and aren't yet bored, I commend you. You're now about to find out why I began this post with the word "mishap".

     The Party Van broke down on our way to the Mall of America! 

     So we sat in the grass next to the busy road while Dad examined the car, and I began putting the finishing touches on my pink shawl.   

From left: Natalie, Hannah, Jonathan, Zachary, Gabriel, Caleb, Emily, and Victoria.

     Which I have now completely finished, by the way!

     Thankfully, the tow truck got to us in about an hour, so we weren't waiting very long. In fact, it was pretty nice, because Minnesota isn't nearly as hot as Texas. ;)

     After we rode in the car ON THE TOW TRUCK, we were dropped off at a repair center (which was closed because it was the fourth of July) and hired some Lyft drivers to take us to our hotel. 

     The next two days were full of walking! I know people say that the Mall of America is big, but you can't fully grasp the size of it until you're in there and gaping.

From left: Zachary, Emily, baby Tabitha, Victoria, Hannah, Mom, and Dad.

Seriously, the place is huge!

     The first day we spent mostly at Nickelodeon Universe, which was really fun. It was nice riding a roller coaster in air conditioning! On our second, and last day there, July 6th, we went to a ton of stores that we'd never heard of before, including Alpaca Connection and Sox Appeal.

There was a sign on the window that said, "How's your sox life?" Lol.

     We separated the return trip into just two days, driving all the way back to Oklahoma on the 7th, and then back to Austin on the 8th.